


It's you

by supernaturalfreakin



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Caring Ianto, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dark Past, Depression, Jack Has Feelings, Jack Has Issues, Jack's Past, Javic Piotr Thane - Freeform, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Sad Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25902169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturalfreakin/pseuds/supernaturalfreakin
Summary: A film triggers memories of Jack’s past. He tells Ianto about his home, his family and his loss...What is the one thing that keeps Jack from drowning?
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Kudos: 29





	It's you

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything.
> 
> English isn't my native language.
> 
> Please R&R :)

The rift had been quiet today and would probably be until tomorrow afternoon.

Jack and Ianto had decided to spend the afternoon at Ianto's flat enjoying their evening off.

They had agreed to watch some TV, eat popcorn and relax while being close to each other.

Both had changed into comfortable clothes, meaning they wore sweatpants and simple t-shirts.

After making the popcorn and getting some drinks they settled on the couch.

Ianto lay on his back and Jack had settled on his side, back against the couch's backrest. His head and arm on Ianto's chest and one leg swung over his lover's. Ianto then wrapped one arm around Jack holding him close while he zapped through the TV program to find something they could watch. After a while he settled on a film neither of them knew, but he was only paying half attention too caught up in the moment of having Jack so close and relaxing for the first time in a while. He focused on the feeling of Jack's weight on him, his scent and the movement of his chest while breathing. He could have stayed like this for eternity.

Focusing on the film again he saw a family, a young woman and a young man on the beach. They were obviously in love. The next frame showed their children, two beautiful young boys. They were playing together with a ball, laughing and joking. They were happy.

He felt a shift in Jack. His whole body had tensed. His hand gripped the front of his shirt and his breathing had stuttered for a second.

'Are you okay?' Ianto asked as he lifted his hand up to Jack's head stroking through his short brown hair.

Jack gave a jerky nod in reply. Knowing that Jack wouldn't say anything else at the moment he let it slide. His hand still remained on Jack's head, bringing it closer to kiss his hairline and then laying it back in its original position while moving his other hand over Jack's which still gripped his t-shirt. After some time, he relaxed again making it possible for Ianto to completely take his hand into his own. He kissed Jack's hairline again and then settled back down on the couch trying to relax once more.

Half an hour later the film had ended. Ianto hadn't really seen any of it. Now he took the remote and turned the volume down so it was only background noise.

He had a feeling Jack was bothered by something, but he didn't want to push him just now, so he waited for him to make the first move. He had been normal when they had arrived at his flat so it must have happened afterwards. Maybe it was the film?

Trying to figure out what could have happened he continued to stroke Jack's hand and head.

About fifteen minutes later he felt him shift again, tensing a bit. Then he took a deep breath.

'Don't worry, I'm okay now' said Jack quietly.

'Do you want to talk about what happened?'

He hesitated for a second. 'Have I ever told you about the place I come from in the 51st century?'

'No, you haven't'

'It was like in the film. An Earth colony called Boeshane Peninsula. The planet was covered in sand and water. Me and my family, we lived there. My father, my mother, my brother Gray and me. We often played on the beach with a ball.' He smiled sadly.

'Just like in the film. I've lost it all a long time ago... There was an attack on the colony. So many people died there, including my father.' He paused for a second and inhaled deeply before continuing.

'Before he died he told me to take my brother and keep him safe. I failed them. I let go of his hand and when I turned around, he was gone... We never found him afterwards. It was just me and my mother then and soon I left for the Time Agency. This film brought back memories. Memories which I pushed away for such a long time and now they are back and remind me of what I've lost. My whole family...'

He then nuzzled his nose into Ianto's neck. Disentangled his hand from him he moved it downwards to the rim of his knickers, tucking the shirt out of it and then pushing his hand slowly over the warm skin towards his upper chest. Right now, he needed skin to skin contact to ground himself. Nothing sexual. Just the feeling of a warm body, alive and with him. The body of his lover.

'I don't know what to say... I'm so sorry you had to live through that. I didn't know...' Instead of trying to say anymore he pulled Jack impossible closer planting a kiss on his forehead and then resting his mouth there. Both men could feel the breath of the other one in this position.

'I've never told anyone about this. I always felt too ashamed that I couldn't protect my little brother. He was so young, and he and my dad had so much faith in me and I failed them both.... His hand just slipped out of mine, and then he was gone...' Jack whispered.

Ianto placed his right hand beneath Jack's chin gently lifting his head out of the crook of his neck and upwards, so he could look into his eyes.

Jack's eyes flickered nervously from left to right to search for a clue what Ianto was thinking now that he knew. They were earnest when he whispered 'Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for telling me. It doesn't change what I feel for you, how I see you. I'm grateful that you're letting me in. It wasn't your fault. You were just a kid too and you were scared. I'm sorry you had to go through that' He then leaned down and kissed him.

Slowly they pulled apart and Jack moved his head back into the crook of Ianto's neck placing soft kisses on the skin there before settling back down.

'At times I feel so unbelievingly alone when I remember what happened, when I remember them. Like I'm lost in the width of the universe forever alone, doomed to never die... But I discovered one thing that has helped me. Like a bright star in the darkness that's surrounding me. One thing that has saved me several times, that reminds me that I'm not completely alone and worthless. That there's still a purpose to push further. One thing that feels like family all over again, accepting me even with all of my flaws, with me not being able to die, with me being a jerk at times. One thing that has stayed with me, that makes me feel so alive after such a long time.'

He pushed himself up on Ianto's chest to look deep into his eyes again for what he was about to say.

'Do you know what that one thing is that keeps me sane?'

Ianto shook his head letting his free hand travel over Jack's arm on his chest.

'It's you. You are keeping me sane. You are not making me feel like a freak. You give me the feeling that there's still a purpose. Every single day it's you that gives me the strength to go on. You make me feel like I'm not alone anymore. You make it all better and I can't stand the thought of ever losing you. I don't know how to cope with knowing you are going to leave me at one point. I don't know how to be without you anymore. I need you with me Ianto Jones, you make me okay!' he confessed staring deep into his lover's eyes.

Ianto was speechless. He stared into Jack's teary eyes. When had they become teary? He'd been so focused on what Jack was saying that he hadn't noticed before.

Slowly he moved his hand from Jack's arm, over his shoulder towards his neck. Stopping there he gently stroked over his nape and his short hair. Then he pulled him closer to kiss him.

Pouring all of his feelings into it to show Jack his unconditional love. The kiss was slow and deep. No rush, just pure feelings.

The need to breathe made them pull apart but wanting to stay close they rested their foreheads together, breathing in each other.

Jack moved his hand from Ianto's chest to his back, lying down almost completely on top of him now, still panting from the kiss.

Nevertheless, he moved his head down again and again to plant short kisses on Ianto's mouth enjoying the taste of him. He then moved on over his chin to his neck, planting soft kisses on every inch of his lover's skin coming to rest on his collarbone where he stopped.

Taking a deep breath, he rested his head comfortably on Ianto's chest again.

'I just want to stay like this forever. Laying in your arms, feeling safe and loved. You being here with me is all I need' said Jack.

'Let's enjoy all the time we have together. I hope this goes without saying but I'm doing it anyway. If you ever need to talk, to feel or you need help in any other way possible - let me know. I won't let you down. You are important to me and I'd do anything to make you feel alright' Ianto clarified while holding Jack close.

'Thank you, Ianto'

They fell asleep after some time on the couch, feeling safe in each other's arms. When Ianto woke up it was to find them still in the same position. Jack on top of him with his hand underneath his back, head pillowed on his chest.

His own hands were still holding Jack close.

His breaths were calm, and he seemed to be content, his face was relaxed for once, not worrying about anything.

Trying to gently wake him up he began stroking Jack's nape again where his hand was still resting. Moving his head down he placed kisses on his hairline.

He then whispered 'Wake up, cariad.'

Jack blinked his eyes open, blearily focusing on Ianto's not quite comprehending what was going on.

'What?' he muttered.

'Let's go to bed, that will be a lot more comfortable, don't you think?' Ianto smiled.

After a moment Jack simply nodded, untangled himself from Ianto and then slowly got up. He offered his hand to help a stiff Ianto get up from the couch. He was getting too old for sleeping on the couch, he thought while stretching his muscles, although he was only in his mid-twenties.

Together they swiftly cleaned up the remainder of their food and drinks and turned off the TV. Then they made their way towards Ianto's bedroom. Both taking off their sweatpants and then crawling under the covers resuming their former position with Jack resting at Ianto's side, head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

On the verge of sleeping Ianto was startled by Jack whispering to him again 'You probably know this but Jack Harkness isn't my real name. I've never told anyone my real name but you are the first one I trust enough to do so. I was born as Javic Piotr Thane'

'Sleep well, Javic Piotr Thane. You are safe and definitely not alone' whispered Ianto back, giving Jack a short squeeze.

Both quickly fell back asleep, comforted by the presence and touch of the other one, Jack listening to Ianto's heartbeat and him listening to their calm breathing.


End file.
